kyala's Blog

im sooo excited. tomorrow night i get to watch chelsea fc play ac america!!! eeeeeeeeeeeepppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!    

ps...

my camera is acting weird and ive been doing bible school all week so the pics from vacation arent up yet.... im working on them though  

tomorrow we head for Hot Springs, Arkansas. im looking forward to the relaxation.

as for the dreams... i got a new opinion from a very insightful person (im so glad i found this site)... 

i have to go now...

tomorrow is the 4th  

i have this feeling like he's somewhere so close that i should be able to see him clearly but im missing him... its sooo frustrating ....    ....    ..... i dont get it    this has GOT  to be something i dreamt up but it feels too real to be something like that... if anybody has ideas id love to hear them.

My sister's birthday was Thursday... she got a ton of junk...    tonight im supposed to go to a friends but i reaaallllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyy dont want to go. i dont have a reason not to go except that i dont want to deal with them.... but ive already said id go.

i had another dream... about that guy... but he wasnt in it....   it was really strange. i miss him.

hey...

 like a lot of people out there, i was diagnosed with depression. i went back to the doctor this morning after Edge*( i'll explain Edge later on) and i talked to her. the medication ive been on helps but sometimes i feel so... overwhelmed that i just want to crawl in bed and not come out for hours on end, but ive never had any suicidal thoughts... she said that what i was describing, given my behavior over the time ive been seeing her, that it sounded like i had an anxiety problem. i start my new meds in the morning. and as strange as it sounds... ive gotten used to having a depression problem... having an anxiety problem is a little scary. ya, i know, its the same problem just a different name... but it doesnt seem like that in my mind... but its also a           a little refreshing. im not depressed........ its a new thought............

anywho, Edge is this camp my school does for athletes to make us faster and stronger. its $100. today was the first day so, by default, very easy. tomorrow they said we're going to be SORE!!! its six weeks... i know im going to feel it but i want to be a better soccer player so this is a really good way.

hey   the more i explore this site the more i like it..

i figure i might as well start... i found this site because i was looking for something thta might help explain some of the dreams i keep having... im really glad i found this place...  

the first time i ever dreamed of him i was running through this really old castle, i couldnt tell if the castle itself was old or new, and no matter which was i turned the hall just kept going. i finally found a door and when i went in this guy, my age, sat up and pointed a sword at my throat. we just stared at each other and we recognized each other. i knew him but id never met him before. we talked and then i woke up.

the second night we were both in a cell... he kept looking at me, i knew that we werent getting out and he knew it too.

the third night i was in a new cell all alone when someone opened the door and threw him in. he was hurt... i was crying and trying to help when someone came in and dragged me away. the last thing i saw was his eyes watching me leave.

the fourth night we were hiding. i dont know where but it was cold, damp, and aweful and he kept trying to shield me from something.

the last night we were in the middle of a battlefield. without going into a lot of detail i was wounded and i died in his arms

ever since then i have dreams, randomly, and none of them are as clear as those first ones...

hey   i just found this site... its exactly what ive been looking for. for the past year and a half ive had dreams about the same boy. once we were in an old castle, another time in some side alley in a big city, and another time we were sitting in the middle of two armies... i died in that one... the thing is i look for him everywhere i go... i have this horrible feeling that he's there but i keep missing him... maybe its just my mind playing with me, i wouldn't be surprised, but i feel like its more than that... as i go i'll tell you about some of these dreams but for now im gonna do some more exploring...